< rant >

I have to say... I am SO tired of being asked "So... how is he sleeping? Is he sleeping through the night?" Anyone with me on this? It bothers me that seemingly all of society wants to judge how good of a mother you are and how well-behaved of a baby you have based on this ONE criterion. And the kicker is ... there is NO GOOD WAY TO ANSWER. The way I see it, there are only four ways to answer this question.

Here's how this scenario works itself out:

You say "Yes" and are LYING THROUGH YOUR TEETH and therefore contributing to the grossly inaccurate assumption that ALL babies should be sleeping through the night by 6 months of age.

You say "Yes" and mean it and are hence BRAGGING about your special/advantaged child and therefore contributing to the make-another-mama-feel-inadequate movement we see all the time these days.

You say "No" and wait for the other person to look at you like you grew a third eye (which they always do) and then suffer through some of these awesome comments "He should be sleeping through the night by NOW! Right?" (The "Right?" part kills me. Like you know the answer to that question. Yes, please put me in a position where I feel obligated to confirm I'm doing "it" wrong.) Or even worse, you'll get something like "Pssh! I TAUGHT MY kids how to sleep through the night by 2 months. I wasn't having ANY of that!" Well, I guess I forgot to buy my super-mom cape at Target. Damn it.

Or... you say "I don't know. We bed share, so I hardly wake up when he wakes up. I just stick a boob in his face and we both go back to sleep." This is usually followed by blank stares. Sometimes a nod, like I've heard that before and ok. But mostly blank stares and then the conversation moves on because they don't know how to even address that. Or you'll get a really opinionated person who will say something like "Oh, THAT'S not a good habit to get in to!" Like you haven't really thought this decision through? Sorry but if I'm throwing around terms like bed-sharing or co-sleeping, this was not a fly by the seat of my pants decision.

Anyway, here's my point. The next time you see a baby and mama and you feel the words "Is he sleeping through the night?" start to fall out of your mouth like rabbit poop. Please stop yourself. Keep that poop in your mouth and instead say something like "Wow, he looks healthy and happy. You must be doing an excellent job." Because really, what do you *really* care if my baby wakes up every hour on the dot. How does that impact you? Does it validate your experiences as a mother? No, it doesn't. And you know what, new mamas are somewhat fragile things! I know. I am one. We are fierce in a lot of ways, but c'mon, we just don't need MORE guilt when we already feel like we don't know what we are doing.

So keep those rabbit poops to yourself. New mamas deal with enough poop as it is.
</rant>