Self Image After Baby 101

So today I was on a search for some long sleeved shirts. I truly couldn't remember what I had stashed away when I packed my pre-maternity clothes away last spring. Well, what the heck, I thought. Let's pull a box down and see what we find. Sure enough I came across a whole stack of long sleeved shirts, but more importantly I came across my pre-pregnancy, pre-mama identity. "Oh yeah! I remember being that girl!"

It is amazing how much clothing and accessories inform our identity. Maybe they shouldn't, but they do. Pregnancy and motherhood is a transition in so many ways. But how often do we look at the role our clothes play in that transition? Think about it... you get pregnant, your body slowly starts to morph and as it does, so does your wardrobe. For me, I had to get my maternity wardrobe on a budget, so I couldn't be real picky. It was garage sales for me! The wardrobe I had was functional, but it was not an accurate reflection of my self image. So when I came across these pre-maternity long sleeved shirts, it was like someone giving me a mirror to see my past self.

When I thought about incorporating these old/new articles back into my wardrobe, I got real excited. "I get to be that girl again! Only better! Changed." I'll never be that girl again entirely. I've exprienced growing a new life inside myself; I've experienced bringing that new life to the outside world and I have become a mother. These things can not be reversed. So how does one reconcile the self that was with the self that is. I can't answer that for everyone, but I can answer it for myself. Happily. The person I was, she was pretty cool but she was nothing compared to this new self. I feel like as I wear these old clothes, I will step into my old self but bring my mama self with me.

Clothes help us articulate to the outer world who we are, but another part of self image is the body. How I view my body has changed drastically since before becoming pregnant. I realized this when I checked myself out in the bathroom mirror after putting on a pair of old pajama pants and a long sleeved shirt. Before being pregnant, I always thought I was fat, most especially around my belly. Looking in the mirror today, I marveled at how slim I am! Even though I haven't lost all the baby weight, I still view myself as slimmer than before I was pregnant. And that got me thinking... why is that? Because I've seen what my body can do. I appreciate my body so much more because I've seen it's power. I've seen it morph and stretch to hold my baby. I've seen it morph and stretch to remove my baby!

Things that never had a purpose before, suddenly have the most important purpose in the entire universe. How can one not be in awe of that? How can one's body image not change? Some moms have a hard time reconciling their new body with their old body. Maybe I am having an easier time because I wasn't a big fan of my body before pregnancy. Or maybe women are taught by society to ignore our own inherent power. Of course body image would be hard to reconcile if we don't allow ourselves to see our own power. As a good friend of mine has said (and I am paraphrasing), the entire universe resides within us women. We can expand to infinity. That is power. That is love.

And I love me.

Kijjet