I will tell you this much. My birth journey was 59 hours, roughly 48 hours of which were completely unmedicated. We had planned a home birth and well, it just didn't happen and not for our lack of trying! There is some birth terminology that this experience has brought to the forefront that doesn't sit well with me. The first term came up as we were entertaining the idea of going to the hospital. All before the birth when we would talk about this possible (albeit unlikely) outcome, I would refer to it as "hospital transfer" or "transferring to the hospital." I never even thought twice about this terminology, but then in the moment where it was ME that was "transferring" to the hospital I couldn't do it. I couldn't use the word "transfer". I quickly switched my terminology to "going to the hospital." I didn't feel like something had gone wrong per say. I wasn't in immediate danger. I didn't need an ambulance. And that word "transfer" for some reason made it felt like going to the hospital was outside my control. That it was happening TO me. And that just didn't sit well.
Now the other word that really gets me is "complications." Yeah, I suppose one could say I had complications. But I refuse to look at my birth like some medical "event" that is supposed to go one certain way. And when it deviates from that path, it has suddenly experienced "complications". Ugh! It leaves such a bad taste in my mouth, that word! Blagh! My contractions kept slowing, yes. I was in labor a long time and had no energy left, yes. I needed an epidural so I could sleep and eventually push nugget out, yes. But these are not inherently "complications". This is birth. I have found myself avoiding the word complications by instead referring to it as my birth journey. So instead of "Due to complications, I ended up having pictocin." I say instead "Due to my birth journey, I ended up having pictocin." Do you see what a difference that makes!? All of a sudden, it isn't something that happened TO me - it is something I journeyed through. I stay the main character in my own birth story, the so called complications aren't allowed center stage.
Words have power. And I really think the words around birth need to change. What about you mamas out there? What birth words leave a bad taste in your mouth?
I would love to become a mommy one day, but not for now ;) So nothing to say about it :) But I DO love your blog! :)
ReplyDeletexoxo
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Thank you! And mamahood is awesome, but it is definitely worth waiting until the timing is right so you can enjoy it as much as possible.
DeleteI dislike all of the terminology really. I wish I could just give birth in secret if I have anymore kids. Just build a nest somewhere, like any other mammal, lol.
ReplyDeleteRight! I feel the same way. I think if I got pregnant again, I wouldn't tell anyone. People would just find out if they happened to see me once I was showing. LOL. There's just so much pressure when everyone knows. I think I'd keep the due date a secret too. And I would definitely try for a home birth again. We were able to avoid a lot of the terminology with our midwife. Things weren't so highly medicalized. But once we were in the hospital, they were throwing terms left and right and I was like "huh?". Luckily our awesome midwife stayed with us and helped interpret everything that was going on.
DeleteWhen I had Mooch, the nurse came in the next morning and said "Did you have a natural birth?" I said, No, I had had an epidural. She said, "Isn't that funny? I was referring to vaginal vs. c-section. But honestly, a natural birth should be any way that you have a healthy mom and baby at the end of it." BOOM. Congratulations on your beautiful creation, however it happened!
DeleteYes! When I was planning a home birth, I'd hear people refer to it as a "natural birth" and that never sat well with me. "Natural" has so many connotations and value placed on it, that by using it to describe a certain "type" of birth it instantly devalues all births that aren't that "type". Who am I to say my birth was "more" natural (and hence "better") than someone else's. All birth stories should be honored. So I would purposely refer to my birth plan as a home birth or when that wasn't enough given the context of the conversation I'd call my plan a "non-medicated birth".
Deletehospitals make me nervous. luckily my two pregnancies went well. i couldn't really concentrate on anything they said once the pain started, anyways! i knew i didn't want any drugs/epidural (i hate needles, lol!) so it was pretty straight forward.
ReplyDeletethanks for stopping by! returning the follow :)
[oomph.]
oh I am glad your births went well! I really didn't want an epidural either, but after 48 hours and no sleep I knew it was either that or a worse fate. LOL. The IV needle was worse than the epidural needle though.
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